I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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