if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When did angry sex become our thing?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
