No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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