I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
