have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
