I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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