Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
