You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
