The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
