yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
