did you get engaged???
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
