you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
