if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
