It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
