He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
