I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just had sex bonerless
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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