now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
