well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
