So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize