he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
