what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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