took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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