so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
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