I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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