it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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