I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
