i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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