Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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