Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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