Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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