We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
