so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
