you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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