You made me cry and you don't even care
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
