My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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