So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
