I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
