Christians are straight up FREAKS
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
