yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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