You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
