wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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