it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize