I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
