I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
