How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
