you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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