Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
it's like iHOP with fire
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
