ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
