they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Of course I have a pirate flag
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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