Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
