Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
