According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
