you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
