are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
