why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
where are my eyebrows?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
