The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
