he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
