Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
