Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
